Posted by: zephaniah317 | May 25, 2007


In the past week and a half, I continually get the comment from my friends and church family, “well, that’s good, you can move on with your life now.”  And they mean well.  And I appreciate it.  I really do.

Thing is, I find myself wondering what life would’ve been like if this growth process called marriage hadn’t been abruptly ended.  I really want to keep growing, learning.  It seems…incomplete, like I got to the 1st verse of a song, and never the chorus.

And, on the other hand, there’s hope.  I was reading Soul Cravings again today.  I’m in the section about Destiny.  And some thoughts came to mind.

I’d like to run my own paintball field someday.  Play music/worship full-time.  Have a wife who digs those things and digs me.  Sorry, employer, but I just don’t see myself as a database developer/field reliability engineer/”data pimp” 20 years from now.  And something inside of me was saying, “You shouldn’t want those things.  God has a plan for your life.  You should follow it.”

And it wasn’t God saying that.  It suddenly hit me between the eyes that God’s a big boy and can handle me wanting things to happen in my life.  And – shocker – He can even handle me putting those things before Him.  He’s God.  He’s not going to lose it if I divert from the path He’s put before me and planned for me.

“Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” – Ps. 37:4

Paraphrase:  Put God first…wait, that sounds legalistic…LOVE GOD; get into intimate and deep relationship with Him; and all the desires of your heart will have their proper priority in your life, and He will grant them to you, as He sees fit.  Gotta be careful there, or I get into “well, if I love God, then I’ll get everything I want.”  Duh…if I’m in intimate relationship with God, I already HAVE everything I want.

I don’t think it says anything in the Bible about not dreaming, hoping, asking.  It’s encouraged, last I checked.


  1. Dream. Hope. Ask. Good stuff. And keep doing it even when it seems like the dream is dead, all hope is lost and the quest has failed. That’s usually about the time you look up and see God more clearly than you ever have before. As Jars of Clay says, “Rescue me from hanging on this line. I won’t give up on giving you the chance to blow my mind. Let the eleventh hour quickly pass me by. I’ll find you when I think I’m out of time.” I don’t know that this has anything to do with your point, but it made me think of this stuff.

  2. Its funny how I don’t usually have the “audacity” to go before God and ask for the things I want. I think I, in some bizarro way, think that if I don’t mention it, then He doesn’t really know that I have this little desire or that little desire.

    Excuse me while I go dope-slap myself.

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