Posted by: zephaniah317 | December 14, 2007

Ought

I was reading a Daily Reading from Ransomed Heart Ministries (www.ransomedheart.com) this morning – I HIGHLY recommend signing up for the daily emails, it’s like getting a refresher on Waking The Dead or Wild At Heart every morning.  I was a few days behind, but this one caught the eye…of my heart.  It’s about God’s call on Jeremiah and his struggle with it.  Here’s a bit:

O Lord, you deceived me, and I was deceived;
you overpowered me and prevailed.
I am ridiculed all day long;
everyone mocks me. . . .
So the word of the Lord has brought me
insult and reproach all day long.
But if I say, “I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot. (Jeremiah 20:7–9)

He says, in effect, “You put this Romance in my heart, you drew me out on this wild adventure—how could I keep from following? But now that I have, it has only brought me the fury of my community. And what’s worse, I cannot walk away. I’m trapped by my desire for you.” Jeremiah may have become a prophet initially out of a sense of duty, but now he is caught up in the Sacred Romance because he can’t help it. When the going gets rough, ought is not enough to keep you going.

Ought is not enough to keep you going.  Yet that’s where I’ve lived for a long time.  A long time.  I was never given a choice growing up.  (OK, I know, more family stuff…if you’re sick of my rantings on the subject, I understand, but hey, it’s where I’m at right now, so…feel free to stop reading!).  Never given a choice at all, really.  Had to go to church.  Had to go to college.  All fear driven.  Nothing about the loving call of a loving Father.

So…where does that leave me now?  It’s not enough.  It hasn’t been, and it never will be.

I haven’t really read my Bible for a few weeks now with any regularity (gasp!).  Why?  Because I feel as if – sometimes – I’m doing it because I have to, because I ought to.  I guess, to sum up, I’m finally getting rid of my parents’ religion and developing my own, and I’m not going to spend time with God because I’m obligated to.  I’m going to spend time with Him because I love Him, because “His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.  I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.”  And because it’s my choice.  Where will that line of thinking lead me?  Right to Him.  And my relationship with Him and others will benefit immensely.

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Responses

  1. Very synchronistic. I have been reading GK Chesterton’s book on Francis of Assisi, and in describing the things Francis did, he says a lot about the romance…that the reason we cannot understand many of Francis’ actions is because we are looking at it from a religious perspective…if we transferred the same actions to a romance, we would all be completely on board and get it. What we don’t get is that it WAS a romance…Francis’ love was Christ, and he pursued Him as passionately as you would pursue a love. And I have been reading Jeremiah, also. Blogs to come on these things. I’m pondering.

  2. There you are Brother!!

  3. It is nice to see another human making the conscious effort to step away from the Bible, waiting for the desire to get into it. Sometimes I just have to step away and go uhm Remind me why I love you, please.. I think some of us have to do this in order to “shed the cloak of our fathers” and build our own relationship with Him.

    Desire is a big part of relationships, no? Our relationship with God is not so different from human relationships especially when we consider the intimatacy He looks for in the church.

  4. Thank you. This, shared back on 12/14, was part of God’s personal message for me today.

    Praying you are well.


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