Posted by: zephaniah317 | June 5, 2008

Beloved Son

So, I’m reading “The Way of the Wild Heart” by John Eldredge this morning.  The book splits up a boy’s/man’s life into stages.  The early part of the book, the part I’m in, is the “Beloved Son” stage…

Actions speak louder than words.  I love being with you.  You are my delight.  I’ll set aside my own agenda to be with you doing something you love.  I love who you are, love what you love.  You get special time with me.  This is how we raise Beloved Sons.

Oh, my God, my Father, how I long to hear this, experience this with You, this essential part of life that has been kept from me.

And then…

boys…need two basic messages then they are growing up:  you are loved more than you can possibly imagine, and, You are not the center of the universe.  Without the first, a boy will grop up insecure, uncertain, looking for love and finding it difficult to believe that he is worthy of being loved, even by God.  Without the second, he will grow up selfish and self-centered, assuming that everyone else’s agenda bows to his own.  No doubt you know both sorts of men.

Well, if you know me, then you DO know both sorts of men, because I’m both.

Then things started to hit me, sort of domino-effect style…

Is music really my heart’s desire, or am I simply fitting Christian (and secular) rock and roll, the band, worship, you name it, into the religious music mold my Mother forced upon me when I was young?

What have I really done in my life that I really WANTED to do, instead of feeling like I HAD to do it?

Is God really FOR me, or is He forcing me into some kind of religious mold that He has crafted me for?

Answers:

Music is my hearts’ desire, but I’ve always felt like I’ve HAD to do it, and it’s felt like I’ve been forced to in order to gain God’s acceptance, instead of being a gift to bless HIM with.  How do I do it just for fun?  For worship?  For love?

And another thing.  I’ve heard God saying lately, “Stop trying so hard.  Sit still and let me bless you.”  Sound familiar?  Read Ps. 46:10.

More to come, I’m sure.  Good book…

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Responses

  1. thanks for sharing, Z.
    doesn’t it seem that our truest heart’s desires are the most painful burdens we carry? (can you tell how I’m feeling about mine right now?!?) : )
    love you…

  2. Why is it so hard for us to remember/internalize that we bring nothing to God that changes His love for us. I struggle with that too. Thanks for pointing to Ps. 46.

    These themes and so many others that I’ve read on your blog are in the book I just finished, The Shack by W.P. Young. I think you could relate to the main character, Mack, and would find it a very interesting read. …more about it in my current post.

    Next on my reading list will be one of two books by Eldredge. I can’t decide which. The Sacred Romance or Captivating?


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