Posted by: zephaniah317 | July 19, 2011

One Year Later…

Very interesting…this is the first time I’ve revisited my blog in a LONG TIME.  (and I’m still getting hits on that “camelback cricket” post, but that’s another story)

I read my post from last July, shortly after a relationship had ended with a kind-hearted, caring woman that I cared deeply about.  Problem is, I didn’t realize this until this past March.  In any case, it took me a while to get my head and my heart straight, but I got there.  In the meantime, we got back together and broke up again.  This has been frustrating and hard for me.  But I’ve been able to work through it; the working through has been hard and frustrating as well.

Also in the meantime, I’ve been blessed with a bernese mtn dog/border collie mix named Big Mike:

Big Mike

He’s great on the leash, great with other dogs, doesn’t bark at visitors in the house, and is very laid back.  You can go to my facebook page for more photos and stories.  I thank God for him.

Life is busy.  I’m in a band called “reMastered”; our name was previously “InsideOut”.  Our facebook page is here.  It will be changing soon.

I’m addicted to facebook.  My page is here.

I’m on my worship team at church.

I play golf on Tuesday nights.

I’m still going to counseling on Fridays, and it’s pretty stinkin awesome the growth that I’ve experienced there.

I play Call of Duty:  Black Ops pretty religiously on a weekly basis on Xbox 360.

And, I’ve been involved in and heard of a situations where communication has been essential (as in all relationships), but has broken down.  That’s the point of this post.

Here are some things I’ve learned from these situations:  where (seriously) kind-hearted, well-intentioned folks, put an end to communications and friendships/relationships with others rather than speaking the truth in love for fear of “hurting their feelings”:

A.  The other person’s feelings are hurt worse by cutting off the relationship and all communication.
B.  Neither of you grow as a person because (1) you’re not taking steps to overcome your fears, and (2) the other person doesn’t grow because they don’t hear your constructive criticism; even if your perspective isn’t right, there might be something to be learned by both of you.
C.  A relationship that could’ve grown and matured between two mature people is ended.

I run into this way too often.  We really need to do what we can today and every day to overcome our fears and speak truth into people’s lives.  If they get upset and leave, they’re emotionally immature, don’t want to change, and need help in that area.  If they hear you and receive what you have to say, even if they disagree, both parties are better off for having had the conversation.

We’re made in God’s image and made to be in community with each other:

“If we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.”

-1 John 1:7

I can’t remember if I’ve posted about this before, but people commonly misinterpret this verse.  “fellowship with one another” doesn’t mean (just) between us and God, it means between us human beans!  We were created for fellowship with one another.  Don’t let hurt feelings keep that from happening in your life.  Step out.  See who your real friends are.  See who stays.  See who leaves.  Trust that God will place mature and safe people in your life that you can have a deep, meaningful relationship with.



  1. Neil-

    Very good. We could do well to remember as well to reflect Christ when someone offends….to welcome with kindness. Ill be reading often. thanks Neil

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